A Heavy Heart

As i sit here and write this blog . My heart is heavy with emotion . Something i am dealing with that i need guidance from above !
About nine months ago my daughter and her husband's life changed forever . Their world came crashing down around them on a Wednesday night .

I hadn't been really close to my daughter and i had heard rumor's about the drugs . Just really didn't want to believe it . You see they had been messing with drugs for a while and it caught up with them on that night .

They were sitting home enjoying an evening together .
They heard a noise outside . Jimmy (husband) picked up his gun and as he was going to the door . A loud knock on the door. Sheriff's dept . They ordered both of them on the floor . Just as my daughter hit the floor . Shots rang out and in return a swat deputy began shooting . When it was over . Two deputy's were wounded in the arm . My daughter was alright but Jimmy was down with numerous wounds .

He was taken to a hospital then transported to a trauma center . He had 27 bullet wounds . It was near death for many weeks . Daughter was finally taken to him not even knowing if he were alive or not .

She called me and asked me not to judge her and Jimmy . I didn't know what she was talking about till she told me . I being disabled . I couldn't go to her and be there for her . I was in pain of not being there .

He finally recovered enough to go home but had a long recovery ahead . The Sheriffs dept was in contact with them . No charges were filed at that time . Turn's out his insurance decided it wouldn't pay and they ended up with around 250 thousand dollars owed . Unemployment was out of question for him . My daughter lost her good paying job . Thankfully she got to draw unemployment .

Three weeks ago they learned that arrest warrants were drawn up . They had been in touch with a lawyer . He advised turning themselves in . Two weeks ago on Wednesday they did with lawyer present . First bond was set at 450 thousand dollars then reduced to 150 thousand . for Jimmy . Unable to get bond money they now have Jimmy in jail and will soon be transported to state prison . First court date is in July .

My daughter wasn't charged till this past Monday . They let her out on her signature . Jimmy is facing 20 years . Daughter may get probation . Hopefully ! Her world has come apart . Now there is bar's between him and her . Because they can't afford a decent lawyer which wants 35 thousand dollars to defend them . They are forced to accept a court appointed attorney . Meaning Jimmy will probably get 15 to 20 years .

I am in no way defending what they did . It looks like if you wound a cop ya get 15 to 20 years but if you shoot a citizen you may just get probation and kick in the ass . I ash is that fair ?

On this night i plan on writing a letter to Jimmy . I have no idea what to say . All i can offer is moral support . I have no means of helping him except being their for my daughter when she needs a shoulder to lean on .

You know i was thinking this evening with tears flowing . After this is over . I may never see my son in law again and when he gets out i will probably be dead . That is sad !

I do pray the Lord will give me guidance in knowing what to write .

People always say do the crime , do the time . It sure is easy to say that but when it hits home it isn't funny . I am having a hard time dealing with this but in time i will adjust .

If anyone decides to read this . Drugs destroy lives , family's , people around them . I see it on tv every day . Now i am seeing it firsthand !