Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
A Happy Ending
A really cute nature story. You have read this story.
Something really amazing happened in Downtown Spokane this week and I had to share the story with you.
Some of you may know that my brother, Joel, is a loan officer at Sterling Bank. He works downtown in a
second story office building, overlooking busy Riverside Avenue . Several weeks ago he watched a mother
duck choose the cement awning outside his window as the uncanny place to build a nest above the sidewalk.
The mallard laid nine eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She
dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks and Monday afternoon all of her nine ducklings hatched.
Joel worried all night how the mamma duck was going to get those babies safely off their perch in a busy,
downtown, urban environment to take to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duck
hatching. Tuesday morning, Joel came to work and watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the
edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off!
The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. In his disbelief Joel watched as the
first fuzzy newborn toddled to the edge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cement below.
My brother couldn't watch how this might play out. He dashed out of his office and ran down the stairs the
sidewalk where the first obedient duckling was stuporing near its mother from the near fatal fall.
Joel looked up. The second duckling was getting ready to jump! He quickly dodged under the awning while the
mother duck quacked at him and the babies above. As the second one took the plunge, Joel jumped forward
and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the cement. Safe and sound, he set it by the mamma and the other < BR>stunned sibling, still recovering from its painful leap.
One by one the babies continued to jump to join their anxious family below. Each time Joel hid under the
awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall. The downtown sidewalk came
to a standstill. Time after time, Joel was able to catch the remaining 7 and set them by their approving mother.
At this point Joel realized the duck family had only made part of its dangerous journey. They had 2 full blocks
to walk across traffic, crosswalks, curbs, and pedestrians to get to the closest open water, the Spokane River
The onlooking office secretaries then joined in, and hurriedly brought an empty copy paper box to collect the
babies. They carefully corralled them, with the mother's approval, and loaded them up into the white cardboard
container. Joel held the box low enough for the mom to see her brood. He then slowly navigated through the
downtown streets toward the Spokane River , as the mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight.
As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping into the river and quacking loudly.
At the water's edge, the Sterling Bank office staff then tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward
the water and to their mother after their adventurous ride.
All nine darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled up snugly to mamma duck. Joel said the
mom swam in circles, looking back toward the beaming bank workers, and proudly quacking as if to say,
'See, we did it! Thanks for all the help!
Thankfully, one of the secretaries had a digital camera and was able to capture most of it (except the
actual mid-air catching) in a series of attached photographs. Please join me in celebrating ---
The Downtown Duck Hero!
Something really amazing happened in Downtown Spokane this week and I had to share the story with you.
Some of you may know that my brother, Joel, is a loan officer at Sterling Bank. He works downtown in a
second story office building, overlooking busy Riverside Avenue . Several weeks ago he watched a mother
duck choose the cement awning outside his window as the uncanny place to build a nest above the sidewalk.
The mallard laid nine eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She
dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks and Monday afternoon all of her nine ducklings hatched.
Joel worried all night how the mamma duck was going to get those babies safely off their perch in a busy,
downtown, urban environment to take to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duck
hatching. Tuesday morning, Joel came to work and watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the
edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off!
The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. In his disbelief Joel watched as the
first fuzzy newborn toddled to the edge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cement below.
My brother couldn't watch how this might play out. He dashed out of his office and ran down the stairs the
sidewalk where the first obedient duckling was stuporing near its mother from the near fatal fall.
Joel looked up. The second duckling was getting ready to jump! He quickly dodged under the awning while the
mother duck quacked at him and the babies above. As the second one took the plunge, Joel jumped forward
and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the cement. Safe and sound, he set it by the mamma and the other < BR>stunned sibling, still recovering from its painful leap.
One by one the babies continued to jump to join their anxious family below. Each time Joel hid under the
awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall. The downtown sidewalk came
to a standstill. Time after time, Joel was able to catch the remaining 7 and set them by their approving mother.
At this point Joel realized the duck family had only made part of its dangerous journey. They had 2 full blocks
to walk across traffic, crosswalks, curbs, and pedestrians to get to the closest open water, the Spokane River
The onlooking office secretaries then joined in, and hurriedly brought an empty copy paper box to collect the
babies. They carefully corralled them, with the mother's approval, and loaded them up into the white cardboard
container. Joel held the box low enough for the mom to see her brood. He then slowly navigated through the
downtown streets toward the Spokane River , as the mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight.
As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping into the river and quacking loudly.
At the water's edge, the Sterling Bank office staff then tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward
the water and to their mother after their adventurous ride.
All nine darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled up snugly to mamma duck. Joel said the
mom swam in circles, looking back toward the beaming bank workers, and proudly quacking as if to say,
'See, we did it! Thanks for all the help!
Thankfully, one of the secretaries had a digital camera and was able to capture most of it (except the
actual mid-air catching) in a series of attached photographs. Please join me in celebrating ---
The Downtown Duck Hero!
He Will Be Missed
Tony Snow's Testimony
This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow Announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chem o-therapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April, 2006, as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, Announced that the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, Leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 3, But has resigned since, 'for economic reasons,' And to pursue 'other interests.' It needs little intro . . . It speaks for itself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
'Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - Find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality While trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption To declare with confidence 'What It All Means,' Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.
The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time Trying to answer the 'why' questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, And the questions themselves Often are designed more to express our anguish Than to solicit an answer.
I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, Great and stunning truths began to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.
But, despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, But we get to choose how to use the interval Between now And the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.
Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying Can send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; You worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.
To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, But into life - and that the journey continues After we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, But that faith is nourished by a conviction That stirs even within many non-believing hearts - an institution that the gift of life, once given, Cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken Enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight With their might, main, and faith To live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.
Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease, - smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - But God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments That seem to defy our endurance and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap And stomachs churn Invariably strengthen our faith And grant measures of wisdom and joy We would not experience otherwise.
'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, A loved one holds your hand at the side. 'It's cancer,' the healer announces.
The natural reaction is to turn to God And ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. 'Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.' But another voice whispers: 'You have been called.' Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, Closer to those you love, Closer to the issues that matter, - and has dragged into insignificance The banal concerns That occupy our 'normal time.'
There's another kind of response, Although usually short-lived, an inexplicable shudder of excitement as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.
The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world scorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes (Spain), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.
There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.
Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the Holy City. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.
We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquired purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.
'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of live.
I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He restrained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. 'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer],' he told me several months before he died. 'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side.'
His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can, in the throes of sickness, point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.
Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?
When our faith flags, He throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!
This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.
What is man that Thou are mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand.'
~ T. Snow ~
This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow Announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chem o-therapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April, 2006, as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, Announced that the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, Leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 3, But has resigned since, 'for economic reasons,' And to pursue 'other interests.' It needs little intro . . . It speaks for itself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
'Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - Find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality While trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption To declare with confidence 'What It All Means,' Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.
The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time Trying to answer the 'why' questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, And the questions themselves Often are designed more to express our anguish Than to solicit an answer.
I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, Great and stunning truths began to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.
But, despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, But we get to choose how to use the interval Between now And the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.
Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying Can send adrenaline flooding through your system. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; You worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.
To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, But into life - and that the journey continues After we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, But that faith is nourished by a conviction That stirs even within many non-believing hearts - an institution that the gift of life, once given, Cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken Enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight With their might, main, and faith To live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.
Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease, - smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - But God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments That seem to defy our endurance and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap And stomachs churn Invariably strengthen our faith And grant measures of wisdom and joy We would not experience otherwise.
'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, A loved one holds your hand at the side. 'It's cancer,' the healer announces.
The natural reaction is to turn to God And ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. 'Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler.' But another voice whispers: 'You have been called.' Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, Closer to those you love, Closer to the issues that matter, - and has dragged into insignificance The banal concerns That occupy our 'normal time.'
There's another kind of response, Although usually short-lived, an inexplicable shudder of excitement as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.
The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world scorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes (Spain), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.
There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.
Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the Holy City. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.
We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquired purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.
'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of live.
I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He restrained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. 'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer],' he told me several months before he died. 'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side.'
His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can, in the throes of sickness, point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.
Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?
When our faith flags, He throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!
This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.
What is man that Thou are mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand.'
~ T. Snow ~
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Early Days As I Can Remember
As i was growing up i picked up on things that happened when i was born . I was born June 1950 . My Mother went into labor at a hospital in Newton NC. Dad used to tell me when they brought me home ( dad carried me out ) . Dad said there was this yellow stuff running down his arm . You can imagine what that was . I had yellow jonyers and i got sick with Pneumonia for 14days . I weighted 8 pounds . Dad said when he was bring us home that he went around a sharp curve near what is known today as Murray's Mill that mom fell out of our car and rolled down a hill . If he hadn't been holding me i probably would have went with her. Dad managed to mom back in car and was crying so bad that he took her down to my grandma's to cry it out .
A couple years later when i could remember things on my own . Mom and dad had another child named Richard Born July 1953 . When they brought him home mom really watched the door and held on .
I can remember living in my grand parents basement . One day mom was going down steps and saw a long black snake laying in the floor . She fainted and dad run and got the hoe . That ended us living in a basement .
We moved into the town of Catawba in a flat house in 1953 . We lived on the left side and an elderly woman lived in other side . I can remember eating out of mom's slop bucket . She would smack me good when she could catch me doing that . One day my uncle James give me a hammer and i was outside one day hammering any thing i could to beat on . That elderly lady came out and took my hammer away and i never did get it back .
We lived beside the train tracts and we would run out and the conductors would throw large pieces of peppermint candy . One day one motioned me to come down and he give a big hand full of Penney's . Mom saw that and whooped me till i got to the house .
The town of Catawba is where i got my first haircut .
Sometime in 1955 we move to Irdell county across the river from Catawba to a place called the brickyard where dad got a job making 90cents an hour . That is when i started to school . Dad learned me how to set out rabbit traps and what to put in them . If we didn't have any thing for the traps we would just pee on them . I would go check the traps before school and dad would go get them critters . some times you would look in them and you would have a opossum grinning at you . Never stick your hand in a trap with a opossums in one they will tear your hand up . We eat a lot of rabbits back in those days . Dad loved them opossums . But you sure didn't want to be in house when they were cooking . Mom would boil them opossums for a long time to boil the grease out but when she baked them after boiling them you still had a lot of grease . Sure did stink during the hold process . He also liked coon .
I can remember one time that got me in trouble . Dad told me to cut tv off and let it cool down . I being to smart that i did a dumb thing . I went to the ice box and go two trays of ice you know i melted all that ice on top of that tv . It sure cooled it down . Dad came home from work and was watching tv the something happened , smoke cam up from back of tv and it stopped working . Told dad what i had done . after a much need whooping dad took it to be repaired and repairman said it was a wonder i hadn't got electrocuted . Dad ended up getting another one . I never did that again.
Another time a man sent one of his kids down and wanted to know if dad wanted a squirrel a rooster and a rabbit . Dad said yes . They brought them critters down and dad looked in to that bag and they had frozen them with fur and feathers with out even cleaning . That ended accepting any thing else from them people .
One day i some how chopped my brother in the head with a steel hoe . Mom got bleeding stop but later that night blood started gushing out . Dad had to take him and wake a doc up . It took 17 stitches to sew him up .
A couple months later my brother got real sick . He went in to convulsions and dad had to rush him to hospital . A cop got behind him and tried to stop him but dad kept going own . He drove into hospital emergency room entrance . When that patrolman saw my brother with his eyes rolled back into his head he took him out of mom's arms and carried him in . They said he had quit breathing but was able to revive him . He laid in a coma for over 30 days . Dad had to mortgage everything we had to pay bills and provide a nurse to watch my brother while he worked . He finally woke up and got to come home . They said he had gotten Encephalitis's . They said it would set him back around 3 years that would affect him in later years learning things .
About a month later he was out side peeing and i noticed him peeing red . I told mom and they took him back to doctor and he spent 6 weeks in hospital getting it cleared up . They said at hospital the he had bright disease .
In early 1959 my dad was at work and he had to change cars that had brick stacked on them between kills to the burning kill to put the color in as brick is today . While he was changing one to another a couple brick fell on top of his foot . It didn't break the skin so he kept on working . A couple days later his foot started hurting . He went to doctor and doc said it was rheumatism . It kept getting worst and he went to another doc and that doc put his leg and ankle in a cast . He got home and i can remember crawling on my knees lifting his leg so he could move around . It hurt him so much . He finally had to go to hospital and when they cut that cast off he had developed blood poison in his right leg . His ankle had swollen up and was full of pus . Doctors thought they might have to take his leg off . when the got him on the operating table the doc stuck a scalpel in his ankle and the force that was there shot that puss out on it's own . They didn't have to do anything else but the pus in there had eaten up the bone in his ankle and he ended up wearing a steel brace the rest of his life .
We had to live on 36 dollars a week for 36 weeks and when that run out we had to move .
Back then 36 dollars went a long way . I can remember gas being 12 cents a gallon, Soft drink 12 ounces 5 cent,5 pound hamburger 99cents.
In September 1959 we moved to Catawba county near grandparents house . Grandpa's had given mom and dad a piece of land and bought a small mobile home that was 8 foot wide and around 37 feet long . We lived in that little trailer till April 1970 . My brother and i took out income tax check refunds and paid down on a 12x60 foot trailer . That was the first time we ever had a bathroom inside .
I wanted to make some money on the side and grand paw said he had a job for me. He took me to the barn and said he would pay me to clean the stable . Polly the cow was having trouble getting into her resting place . I got down there at eight o'clock and begin to clean You had to use a pitchfork on that stuff . It took me 3 days to clean that stable . It had over 3 feet of manure in it . When i got done grandpa give me 50 cent . I learned not to ask anymore after that .
We used to go to cotton fields at daybreak . grandma would fix us a dinner and we didn't come home till the cotton was hoed .Did the same when it came time to pick that cotton . It took a long time to harvest all that cotton . Them roe's were as long as you could see . We or at least i would pick all day and go to smoke house and weigh our sacks but i would only have 3 pounds in my sack where others would have 60 or 70 pounds in their's. Grandpa would take the bounty to cotton gin on a wagon fixed so he could pull it with his truck to sell it .
That was the way paw made money to get threw the cold winters we had back then. After the cotton went away around here . Grandpa would work in the saw mill. They had one saw mill that they transported to the site and set up . They would use horses and i mean big horses to pull the trees they cut down to drag to the saw for grandpa to saw into boards .Later on the owner bought a tractor to replace them horses . Grandpa worked in the saw mill till he retired .
I remember this wonderful black man named Babe that was 75 years old . He was friendly as he could be . We would go and sit on his porch and he would tell us some of the most wonderful stories . He sure knew how to grow water melons .
We would come home on our school buses but instead of going to other school to pick up kids . We talked the bus driver to let us off close to our home . This one day i took a very large sack to school . I wanted me one of them water melons . We jumped off that bus (driver wouldn't stop but would slow down) I hit the ground and went end over end before i came to a rest . I didn't try that again . when we got to that patch of very large melons . They were hard to pick one they were so large . I got one and it was all i could do to get it into my sack. I drug it to the edge of our woods and went home to get my little red wagon . I finally got it home and put it on bathroom scales . It weighed over 85 pound . Even thou it was stolen it was the best water melon we had ever tasted . Later own we went back but because of our actions , Babe was so mad at us kids that he went to that field and stomped every one of those melons to keep us from getting them .
Another farmer around there had another way of keeping kid's out of his patch . He would take a needle and squirt croton oil in them water melons and if you picked the wrong one . Well let's say you didn't have time to make it to the bathroom or even the woods .
Later on a few years us kids would start trying to smoke . We would go to the edges of a field and there was this stuff that growed in stalks and the leaves were silver in color when they started to dry . We would strip them leaves off and when we got enough we would roll a joint up in brown paper and try and smoke it . This stuff was called rabbit tobacco . If you puffed to hard really fast it would engulf in to a big ball of fire . You had to watch you hair if you wanted to keep any. Later on we would walk to a local store and buy cig's . I would buy a menthol type . and a brand called half and half . I made a mistake one day and took my mom the mail forgetting i had them in my shirt pocket . I got up to her and she saw them cig's and took them from me . I never heard anything else from her or dad but one Friday evening Dad come out of the Grocery store called Winndixie . ( none around here anymore) Dad handed me a pack of Winston's and yo know i didn't want to smoke anymore after that .
I used to live in a duplex apartment back in early eighty's . I was home one day and sitting in my easy chair . I happen to look up and where the phone was on the wall i noticed a hole developing next to it . All a sudden this head appeared . It was a rat . I went over and stuffed a wash rag in that hole . A little later that dang rat pulled it into that hole . I went into the bedroom and got my rifle . Sat down in easy chair and waited . I shot at that rat several times , never did hit it but there was several more hole's in that wall . I went to store and got several boxes of rat poison . Throwed some down them holes and in utility room . A couple days later the yard was full of dead rats . Still had them holes but got rid of them critters .
Another time i used to shoot flies off screen door of our mobile home but that another story .
Back before my mother died , i heard her scream and i ran to where she was . She was putting some trash in trash can and something moved . I looked in it and there was a baby opossum in the trash . Later that day after i deposed of the critter we saw something run across the floor . It turned out to be another one . In all there were five . That was in the spring . In the fall we found 6 more . Some ran out from under my bed . I did away with four and i took two to work to show i wasn't lieing about them opossum's . I guess that is why our dog was so upset when she got under our mobile home . Found out they were coming in around the pipes that was under the sink .
Back in 1967 not long after I got my Lic to drive , a couple friends of mine were crusin around and stopped at a store and i bought 20 , 5 cent packs of peanuts . About an hour later my belly started hurting and I needed a bathroom . No bathroom around at 3 in the morning . Stopped at a closed gas station and there was a phone booth . I had to go so I used the phone booth . Later that day we drove buy that station and the phone company was there with a steam jenny cleaning that booth Not to long after that happened they took that phone booth out all together . That is about the worst thing I ever did .
Back in the old days i would go down to my Grandma's and sit in the yard with my grandparents , grandpa would light up a King Edward Cigar . and cut a piece of tobacco off his plug . Every once in a while he would fart . We got to having contest to see who could fart the best . Well let me tell you grandma knew how to fart with the best of us . It was so funny sitting in that yard or porch with us farting and listening to the whoop-per-whill's sing back off in the woods . Some times you could hear a screech owl holler out . That sound , sounded like a woman scream .
I miss my grandparents so much . The memories of those days were precious .
My dad died in 1983 my mom in 1990 . Since i have been living alone Makes me miss my parents so bad it tears me up inside . It is hard to cope some times but in time i get alright . I am not ashamed to admit i cry . Crying to me helps relieve the loneliness and stress of being a lone now .
My first car was a 1954 ford that had a broke rear spring . It sure would spin . Traded it for a 1957 Chevy 4door . Was coming home from school one day and was going to show how the four barrel kick in . Well it blew up . That ended that car . Next car 1959 Chevy . Had a rotten floor board because i got in back one day and foot went clean to the ground . Next car 1960 Chevy . Then a 1963 Chevy that when going down road at night lights would go out . Just had to pray you got stopped before you hit a ditch . Next was a 1964 Chevelle , turned out to be best car i owned . Next 1967 Pontiac fire bird . Fastest car i owned . Next 1968 chevelle . Next 1969 chevelle . Rest 1972 Chevy truck, 1969 nova , 1983 Chevy truck , 1996 Chevy truck that i drive today . That is my history of vehicle's i have owned .
What i have written Is true . I love to write and i hope you have enjoyed what i have put forth . Maybe you shed a tear , got a chuckle or rolling in the floor about now . Thank you for the time it took out of your life to read and maybe learn something.
Written by
Wayne
A couple years later when i could remember things on my own . Mom and dad had another child named Richard Born July 1953 . When they brought him home mom really watched the door and held on .
I can remember living in my grand parents basement . One day mom was going down steps and saw a long black snake laying in the floor . She fainted and dad run and got the hoe . That ended us living in a basement .
We moved into the town of Catawba in a flat house in 1953 . We lived on the left side and an elderly woman lived in other side . I can remember eating out of mom's slop bucket . She would smack me good when she could catch me doing that . One day my uncle James give me a hammer and i was outside one day hammering any thing i could to beat on . That elderly lady came out and took my hammer away and i never did get it back .
We lived beside the train tracts and we would run out and the conductors would throw large pieces of peppermint candy . One day one motioned me to come down and he give a big hand full of Penney's . Mom saw that and whooped me till i got to the house .
The town of Catawba is where i got my first haircut .
Sometime in 1955 we move to Irdell county across the river from Catawba to a place called the brickyard where dad got a job making 90cents an hour . That is when i started to school . Dad learned me how to set out rabbit traps and what to put in them . If we didn't have any thing for the traps we would just pee on them . I would go check the traps before school and dad would go get them critters . some times you would look in them and you would have a opossum grinning at you . Never stick your hand in a trap with a opossums in one they will tear your hand up . We eat a lot of rabbits back in those days . Dad loved them opossums . But you sure didn't want to be in house when they were cooking . Mom would boil them opossums for a long time to boil the grease out but when she baked them after boiling them you still had a lot of grease . Sure did stink during the hold process . He also liked coon .
I can remember one time that got me in trouble . Dad told me to cut tv off and let it cool down . I being to smart that i did a dumb thing . I went to the ice box and go two trays of ice you know i melted all that ice on top of that tv . It sure cooled it down . Dad came home from work and was watching tv the something happened , smoke cam up from back of tv and it stopped working . Told dad what i had done . after a much need whooping dad took it to be repaired and repairman said it was a wonder i hadn't got electrocuted . Dad ended up getting another one . I never did that again.
Another time a man sent one of his kids down and wanted to know if dad wanted a squirrel a rooster and a rabbit . Dad said yes . They brought them critters down and dad looked in to that bag and they had frozen them with fur and feathers with out even cleaning . That ended accepting any thing else from them people .
One day i some how chopped my brother in the head with a steel hoe . Mom got bleeding stop but later that night blood started gushing out . Dad had to take him and wake a doc up . It took 17 stitches to sew him up .
A couple months later my brother got real sick . He went in to convulsions and dad had to rush him to hospital . A cop got behind him and tried to stop him but dad kept going own . He drove into hospital emergency room entrance . When that patrolman saw my brother with his eyes rolled back into his head he took him out of mom's arms and carried him in . They said he had quit breathing but was able to revive him . He laid in a coma for over 30 days . Dad had to mortgage everything we had to pay bills and provide a nurse to watch my brother while he worked . He finally woke up and got to come home . They said he had gotten Encephalitis's . They said it would set him back around 3 years that would affect him in later years learning things .
About a month later he was out side peeing and i noticed him peeing red . I told mom and they took him back to doctor and he spent 6 weeks in hospital getting it cleared up . They said at hospital the he had bright disease .
In early 1959 my dad was at work and he had to change cars that had brick stacked on them between kills to the burning kill to put the color in as brick is today . While he was changing one to another a couple brick fell on top of his foot . It didn't break the skin so he kept on working . A couple days later his foot started hurting . He went to doctor and doc said it was rheumatism . It kept getting worst and he went to another doc and that doc put his leg and ankle in a cast . He got home and i can remember crawling on my knees lifting his leg so he could move around . It hurt him so much . He finally had to go to hospital and when they cut that cast off he had developed blood poison in his right leg . His ankle had swollen up and was full of pus . Doctors thought they might have to take his leg off . when the got him on the operating table the doc stuck a scalpel in his ankle and the force that was there shot that puss out on it's own . They didn't have to do anything else but the pus in there had eaten up the bone in his ankle and he ended up wearing a steel brace the rest of his life .
We had to live on 36 dollars a week for 36 weeks and when that run out we had to move .
Back then 36 dollars went a long way . I can remember gas being 12 cents a gallon, Soft drink 12 ounces 5 cent,5 pound hamburger 99cents.
In September 1959 we moved to Catawba county near grandparents house . Grandpa's had given mom and dad a piece of land and bought a small mobile home that was 8 foot wide and around 37 feet long . We lived in that little trailer till April 1970 . My brother and i took out income tax check refunds and paid down on a 12x60 foot trailer . That was the first time we ever had a bathroom inside .
I wanted to make some money on the side and grand paw said he had a job for me. He took me to the barn and said he would pay me to clean the stable . Polly the cow was having trouble getting into her resting place . I got down there at eight o'clock and begin to clean You had to use a pitchfork on that stuff . It took me 3 days to clean that stable . It had over 3 feet of manure in it . When i got done grandpa give me 50 cent . I learned not to ask anymore after that .
We used to go to cotton fields at daybreak . grandma would fix us a dinner and we didn't come home till the cotton was hoed .Did the same when it came time to pick that cotton . It took a long time to harvest all that cotton . Them roe's were as long as you could see . We or at least i would pick all day and go to smoke house and weigh our sacks but i would only have 3 pounds in my sack where others would have 60 or 70 pounds in their's. Grandpa would take the bounty to cotton gin on a wagon fixed so he could pull it with his truck to sell it .
That was the way paw made money to get threw the cold winters we had back then. After the cotton went away around here . Grandpa would work in the saw mill. They had one saw mill that they transported to the site and set up . They would use horses and i mean big horses to pull the trees they cut down to drag to the saw for grandpa to saw into boards .Later on the owner bought a tractor to replace them horses . Grandpa worked in the saw mill till he retired .
I remember this wonderful black man named Babe that was 75 years old . He was friendly as he could be . We would go and sit on his porch and he would tell us some of the most wonderful stories . He sure knew how to grow water melons .
We would come home on our school buses but instead of going to other school to pick up kids . We talked the bus driver to let us off close to our home . This one day i took a very large sack to school . I wanted me one of them water melons . We jumped off that bus (driver wouldn't stop but would slow down) I hit the ground and went end over end before i came to a rest . I didn't try that again . when we got to that patch of very large melons . They were hard to pick one they were so large . I got one and it was all i could do to get it into my sack. I drug it to the edge of our woods and went home to get my little red wagon . I finally got it home and put it on bathroom scales . It weighed over 85 pound . Even thou it was stolen it was the best water melon we had ever tasted . Later own we went back but because of our actions , Babe was so mad at us kids that he went to that field and stomped every one of those melons to keep us from getting them .
Another farmer around there had another way of keeping kid's out of his patch . He would take a needle and squirt croton oil in them water melons and if you picked the wrong one . Well let's say you didn't have time to make it to the bathroom or even the woods .
Later on a few years us kids would start trying to smoke . We would go to the edges of a field and there was this stuff that growed in stalks and the leaves were silver in color when they started to dry . We would strip them leaves off and when we got enough we would roll a joint up in brown paper and try and smoke it . This stuff was called rabbit tobacco . If you puffed to hard really fast it would engulf in to a big ball of fire . You had to watch you hair if you wanted to keep any. Later on we would walk to a local store and buy cig's . I would buy a menthol type . and a brand called half and half . I made a mistake one day and took my mom the mail forgetting i had them in my shirt pocket . I got up to her and she saw them cig's and took them from me . I never heard anything else from her or dad but one Friday evening Dad come out of the Grocery store called Winndixie . ( none around here anymore) Dad handed me a pack of Winston's and yo know i didn't want to smoke anymore after that .
I used to live in a duplex apartment back in early eighty's . I was home one day and sitting in my easy chair . I happen to look up and where the phone was on the wall i noticed a hole developing next to it . All a sudden this head appeared . It was a rat . I went over and stuffed a wash rag in that hole . A little later that dang rat pulled it into that hole . I went into the bedroom and got my rifle . Sat down in easy chair and waited . I shot at that rat several times , never did hit it but there was several more hole's in that wall . I went to store and got several boxes of rat poison . Throwed some down them holes and in utility room . A couple days later the yard was full of dead rats . Still had them holes but got rid of them critters .
Another time i used to shoot flies off screen door of our mobile home but that another story .
Back before my mother died , i heard her scream and i ran to where she was . She was putting some trash in trash can and something moved . I looked in it and there was a baby opossum in the trash . Later that day after i deposed of the critter we saw something run across the floor . It turned out to be another one . In all there were five . That was in the spring . In the fall we found 6 more . Some ran out from under my bed . I did away with four and i took two to work to show i wasn't lieing about them opossum's . I guess that is why our dog was so upset when she got under our mobile home . Found out they were coming in around the pipes that was under the sink .
Back in 1967 not long after I got my Lic to drive , a couple friends of mine were crusin around and stopped at a store and i bought 20 , 5 cent packs of peanuts . About an hour later my belly started hurting and I needed a bathroom . No bathroom around at 3 in the morning . Stopped at a closed gas station and there was a phone booth . I had to go so I used the phone booth . Later that day we drove buy that station and the phone company was there with a steam jenny cleaning that booth Not to long after that happened they took that phone booth out all together . That is about the worst thing I ever did .
Back in the old days i would go down to my Grandma's and sit in the yard with my grandparents , grandpa would light up a King Edward Cigar . and cut a piece of tobacco off his plug . Every once in a while he would fart . We got to having contest to see who could fart the best . Well let me tell you grandma knew how to fart with the best of us . It was so funny sitting in that yard or porch with us farting and listening to the whoop-per-whill's sing back off in the woods . Some times you could hear a screech owl holler out . That sound , sounded like a woman scream .
I miss my grandparents so much . The memories of those days were precious .
My dad died in 1983 my mom in 1990 . Since i have been living alone Makes me miss my parents so bad it tears me up inside . It is hard to cope some times but in time i get alright . I am not ashamed to admit i cry . Crying to me helps relieve the loneliness and stress of being a lone now .
My first car was a 1954 ford that had a broke rear spring . It sure would spin . Traded it for a 1957 Chevy 4door . Was coming home from school one day and was going to show how the four barrel kick in . Well it blew up . That ended that car . Next car 1959 Chevy . Had a rotten floor board because i got in back one day and foot went clean to the ground . Next car 1960 Chevy . Then a 1963 Chevy that when going down road at night lights would go out . Just had to pray you got stopped before you hit a ditch . Next was a 1964 Chevelle , turned out to be best car i owned . Next 1967 Pontiac fire bird . Fastest car i owned . Next 1968 chevelle . Next 1969 chevelle . Rest 1972 Chevy truck, 1969 nova , 1983 Chevy truck , 1996 Chevy truck that i drive today . That is my history of vehicle's i have owned .
What i have written Is true . I love to write and i hope you have enjoyed what i have put forth . Maybe you shed a tear , got a chuckle or rolling in the floor about now . Thank you for the time it took out of your life to read and maybe learn something.
Written by
Wayne
My Parents and Some Memories
My mother was a kind and wonderful person . She had four sisters Louise,Bebe,Julia,and Rachel whom was same age as me . Three brothers Thomas,Kenneth,and Owen . Mom growing up met my dad in July 1949 and got married . They had me in June of 1950 and my brother July 1953 . I faintly remember some of the places we lived . I was told when i was born and was brought home from hospital , that dad was driving us home and was going down a hill and got in a very sharp curve . Moms door flew open and she fell out and rolled down a hill . Only thing that kept me in car was dad holding me beside him . He got mom back in car and she was crying and scared . She didn't get hurt . He took her down to grandma's to cry it out .
Dad wasn't much into traveling much so mom didn't get to go places like most people . One house we lived in was in the town of Catawba (lived in North Carolina all our lives)was a flat roofed house that had an elderly woman living in one side . My uncle give me a hammer one day and i was outside beating on a piece of tin . That old woman came out and took my hammer away from me and i never did get it back . I can remember eating out of a slope bucket one time and mom took a hickory switch and got me good on the back of my legs . When we moved from there was in1955 to the place in my other story . In 1958 My dad got his foot hurt and it turned into blood poison . He was in hospital a long time . They took him into the operation room and said they may have take his leg off below the knee . The doctor cut into his ankle and puss shot out of it and doc got it all out . They put off the operation and his leg cleared up . His ankle the bone in it was eaten up and he had to wear a steel brace the rest of his life . His disabilty money ran out . He got 36 dollars a week to live on . It was enough to live on . We had to move and Grandpa give mom a piece of land and he helped dad get a loan to buy a very small mobile home . It was 8 feet wide and 30 couple feet long . This was September 1959 when we moved in it . My dad worked in pain for a lot of years trying to support us . He found out he could get help from the VA because he served in the Army Air Force in WW2. When his checks started he got to quit work . All my Dad's people lived in South Carolina in and around Columbia . All the kin he had was step mother who was a great mom to him . His real mother died when he was 12 . We would go down and see them . His Half brother named Wiley had 13 kids by his wife . Her name was Minnie ,she sure knew hot to make big biscuits . Most are dead now and i don't know where any of them live today . We lived in that little trailer till 1970 . My brother and me took out tax refund checks and paid down on a 12x60 mobile home . This is when we got out first bathroom and hot water . It made it so much easier on mom and dad . (A lot happened between these dates that i will tell later) In March 1983 my dad died . I came home from work and mom said i should go check on dad . I went into his room and asked him if he would go to the hospital He shook his head no . I went into my room and tears was built up in my eyes so bad . I went back in his room and called out to him . His eyes was open and i knew i had to call 911 . They got there and it was raining cats and dogs .The first responders were working on him . His blood pressure was so low . They carried him up the hall to a stretcher . I still see him today gnawing his jaw . After they got him to hospital the couldn't get his pressure back up and pronounced him dead . Said it was congestive heart failure. My mom died in1990 . She went up the road to see my great aunt and when she was sitting on the porch . She fell over dead . The first responders carried her inside because of the heat . I never got to see mom or get to tell her how much i loved her .
So if you are reading this story and your parents are still alive reach out and tell them how much you love them . Those memories are so precious .
Written by Wayne
Dad wasn't much into traveling much so mom didn't get to go places like most people . One house we lived in was in the town of Catawba (lived in North Carolina all our lives)was a flat roofed house that had an elderly woman living in one side . My uncle give me a hammer one day and i was outside beating on a piece of tin . That old woman came out and took my hammer away from me and i never did get it back . I can remember eating out of a slope bucket one time and mom took a hickory switch and got me good on the back of my legs . When we moved from there was in1955 to the place in my other story . In 1958 My dad got his foot hurt and it turned into blood poison . He was in hospital a long time . They took him into the operation room and said they may have take his leg off below the knee . The doctor cut into his ankle and puss shot out of it and doc got it all out . They put off the operation and his leg cleared up . His ankle the bone in it was eaten up and he had to wear a steel brace the rest of his life . His disabilty money ran out . He got 36 dollars a week to live on . It was enough to live on . We had to move and Grandpa give mom a piece of land and he helped dad get a loan to buy a very small mobile home . It was 8 feet wide and 30 couple feet long . This was September 1959 when we moved in it . My dad worked in pain for a lot of years trying to support us . He found out he could get help from the VA because he served in the Army Air Force in WW2. When his checks started he got to quit work . All my Dad's people lived in South Carolina in and around Columbia . All the kin he had was step mother who was a great mom to him . His real mother died when he was 12 . We would go down and see them . His Half brother named Wiley had 13 kids by his wife . Her name was Minnie ,she sure knew hot to make big biscuits . Most are dead now and i don't know where any of them live today . We lived in that little trailer till 1970 . My brother and me took out tax refund checks and paid down on a 12x60 mobile home . This is when we got out first bathroom and hot water . It made it so much easier on mom and dad . (A lot happened between these dates that i will tell later) In March 1983 my dad died . I came home from work and mom said i should go check on dad . I went into his room and asked him if he would go to the hospital He shook his head no . I went into my room and tears was built up in my eyes so bad . I went back in his room and called out to him . His eyes was open and i knew i had to call 911 . They got there and it was raining cats and dogs .The first responders were working on him . His blood pressure was so low . They carried him up the hall to a stretcher . I still see him today gnawing his jaw . After they got him to hospital the couldn't get his pressure back up and pronounced him dead . Said it was congestive heart failure. My mom died in1990 . She went up the road to see my great aunt and when she was sitting on the porch . She fell over dead . The first responders carried her inside because of the heat . I never got to see mom or get to tell her how much i loved her .
So if you are reading this story and your parents are still alive reach out and tell them how much you love them . Those memories are so precious .
Written by Wayne
Canning Ane Other Things In life
When i was growing up my parents and grandparents would plant large gardens . They had beans ,okra ,corn , sugar cane , water melons yellow moon and stars and red ones and they grew big back then , cucumbers , big heads of cabbage . squash yellow and saucer size ones were the best tasting .
I remember when my grandma would can over 300 jars of green beans for the winter . Other things she and mom canned were cabbage to work off in a crock , tomato juice , okra , Yellow and white sweet corn . Pickles like ,sweet and sour , dill , bread and butter , and sour. In the winter we would kill a hog . Grandma and mom would rub seasoning and salt on the shoulders to hang in the smoke house and cure . Grandma would grind sausage and roll into balls and cook then pack in jars . Turn up side down and let the grease would seal the jar . Grandpa would take the sugar cane to an old farmer . They had a press set up and a mule would pull the press and mash the juice out to make molasses . In the winter time it was nice to dip a biscuit in that sweet treat .
They would plant acre's of cotton , wheat and oats for the plow horse and cow . Grandpa had a horse driven machine that i would ride and it would cut the dried wheat corn and oats off by lowering a handle that let the blade down . Then i would ride a hay rake . We would rake the hay in row's and when done use a pitchfork and load hay on a home made trailer that the mule pulled . Then get to the barn and have to throw it up into the loft of barn .
Grandpa had an old T model ford that he would take off back wheel and put a rim on and belt that would pull a saw to cut slabs for fire wood . I liked to off bear that saw but didn't like handing the long slabs too him to cut . Slabs were the part of logs that were cut off at a sawmill to make boards . Sure wish i could go back in them old days . Too me life back then was real and you would savor the rewards for the work we did .
Written By Wayne
I remember when my grandma would can over 300 jars of green beans for the winter . Other things she and mom canned were cabbage to work off in a crock , tomato juice , okra , Yellow and white sweet corn . Pickles like ,sweet and sour , dill , bread and butter , and sour. In the winter we would kill a hog . Grandma and mom would rub seasoning and salt on the shoulders to hang in the smoke house and cure . Grandma would grind sausage and roll into balls and cook then pack in jars . Turn up side down and let the grease would seal the jar . Grandpa would take the sugar cane to an old farmer . They had a press set up and a mule would pull the press and mash the juice out to make molasses . In the winter time it was nice to dip a biscuit in that sweet treat .
They would plant acre's of cotton , wheat and oats for the plow horse and cow . Grandpa had a horse driven machine that i would ride and it would cut the dried wheat corn and oats off by lowering a handle that let the blade down . Then i would ride a hay rake . We would rake the hay in row's and when done use a pitchfork and load hay on a home made trailer that the mule pulled . Then get to the barn and have to throw it up into the loft of barn .
Grandpa had an old T model ford that he would take off back wheel and put a rim on and belt that would pull a saw to cut slabs for fire wood . I liked to off bear that saw but didn't like handing the long slabs too him to cut . Slabs were the part of logs that were cut off at a sawmill to make boards . Sure wish i could go back in them old days . Too me life back then was real and you would savor the rewards for the work we did .
Written By Wayne
The Fishing Trip That Shouldn't Have Happen
This Story is true and is about a finshing trip that ended bad .
Back in the late sixties My self . Brother named Richard .Two cousins named Kenny and Paul . One friend named Jimmy and two drunks Was to meet at tha Catawba River and go fishing . We started fishing and after a while no one was catching anything . The two friends that were drunk from drinking Southern Comfort Whisky suggested we go to the Hot Hole . The Hot Hole was a discharge from a steam plant that burned coal to run it . A lot of fish was caught there over the years . We packed up . I was driving a 1963 Chevy And Paul was going to ride with me . My Cousin was driving my friend Jimmys car , a 1953 Chevy . Jimmy and my brother Richard road in the 53 Chevy . The two drunks drove a 1962 Chevy . I was way ahead of them and got on a road called Molly's Backbone Road . That road was so crooked that you couldn't see any cars coming at you till you was right on them . I had got to Hot Hole first and we started fishing catching Carp and Catfish right and left . Time was passing away and no one showed up. It was around 11 PM and we heard someone calling us from the bridge above us . It was my Dad . He said we needed to come home . We got up there and he told us that the 1953 Chevy had ran off the road and that my cousin Kenny had gotton hurt .
What had happen was , My cousin had gotten in one of them sharp curves and went off the edge of the road down an embankment . The two drunks almost did the same thing but got their car stoped just in time . They all got out of the cars and was going to try and push the 53 Chevy back on the road . There was some log's under the Chevy and my cousin was trying to push car with his back with his fingers under the bumper lifting while he pushed . The car rolled over the log and when it did it came down right on my cousin's finger and cut it compleatly off . He didn't even know it happened till he saw his hand in the light from the head lights . That really freaked him out . The drunks saw his hand and one of them passed out cold from sight of the blood . My friend Jimmy got my cousin , brother and two drunks in ther 62 Chevy and drove to hospitol . They couldn't find the finger that was cut off . They released my cousin and he went home .
The next day i drove down to where the car was sitting and drove it right out onto the road . They should have waited till it got daylight then my cousin wouldn't have lost his finger .
Kenny has never let his lost finger interfear with his job and is a very good friend of mine too this day .
I hope you all that read this Blog entry enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed bring it to you . Peace be with you as you go thru life each day .
Written By Wayne
Back in the late sixties My self . Brother named Richard .Two cousins named Kenny and Paul . One friend named Jimmy and two drunks Was to meet at tha Catawba River and go fishing . We started fishing and after a while no one was catching anything . The two friends that were drunk from drinking Southern Comfort Whisky suggested we go to the Hot Hole . The Hot Hole was a discharge from a steam plant that burned coal to run it . A lot of fish was caught there over the years . We packed up . I was driving a 1963 Chevy And Paul was going to ride with me . My Cousin was driving my friend Jimmys car , a 1953 Chevy . Jimmy and my brother Richard road in the 53 Chevy . The two drunks drove a 1962 Chevy . I was way ahead of them and got on a road called Molly's Backbone Road . That road was so crooked that you couldn't see any cars coming at you till you was right on them . I had got to Hot Hole first and we started fishing catching Carp and Catfish right and left . Time was passing away and no one showed up. It was around 11 PM and we heard someone calling us from the bridge above us . It was my Dad . He said we needed to come home . We got up there and he told us that the 1953 Chevy had ran off the road and that my cousin Kenny had gotton hurt .
What had happen was , My cousin had gotten in one of them sharp curves and went off the edge of the road down an embankment . The two drunks almost did the same thing but got their car stoped just in time . They all got out of the cars and was going to try and push the 53 Chevy back on the road . There was some log's under the Chevy and my cousin was trying to push car with his back with his fingers under the bumper lifting while he pushed . The car rolled over the log and when it did it came down right on my cousin's finger and cut it compleatly off . He didn't even know it happened till he saw his hand in the light from the head lights . That really freaked him out . The drunks saw his hand and one of them passed out cold from sight of the blood . My friend Jimmy got my cousin , brother and two drunks in ther 62 Chevy and drove to hospitol . They couldn't find the finger that was cut off . They released my cousin and he went home .
The next day i drove down to where the car was sitting and drove it right out onto the road . They should have waited till it got daylight then my cousin wouldn't have lost his finger .
Kenny has never let his lost finger interfear with his job and is a very good friend of mine too this day .
I hope you all that read this Blog entry enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed bring it to you . Peace be with you as you go thru life each day .
Written By Wayne
Mom Washing Clothes
My Mom back when i was born used a cast iron tub that she would fire up to wash clothes in then a wash board to scrub them on . One day Dad got Mom a used washing machine . That sure made life a lot easier back then . I would help her wring out the clothes and if you weren't careful it would drag your shirt or hand clean up to the arm pit . Then you would have to back it out . Sure got a lot of bruises back then . Mom used that washing machine till March of 1970 . I bought us a new 12X60 foot mobile home and got a new modern washer and dryer . That ended the old washer's duty. Mom still hanged out a lot of clothes . We had a dang cat that would back up to them clothes on the line and spray . I guess it was its way of marking things . That cat didn't live nine lives . Also had a dog that would jump and pull them clothes off the line and have them scattered all over the yard . He didn't last to long either . Mom finally give up hanging on line . Sure do miss them days . Guess we all miss a lot of things in life and the memories we shared with our parents and brother and sister's . I never had the pleasure of having a sister to look up too while i was growing up . I have an Aunt named Rachel that was about the same age i was and guess she was like a sister to me . . . . .
Written by Wayne
Written by Wayne
Being Abused After Being Married
This is about my Brother , His name is Richard .
Richard didn't have much learning when he was growing up because of an illness he had that put him in a coma for three weeks . Doctors said his mine lost several years and would have a hard time learning . When he started school the teacher's just passed him on each grade till he was old enough to quit school . They didn't have special classes back then . Richard was and is a hard working person . He used to help our parents a lot .
While he was at work one day someone told him of a nice girl he could meet . He never had a relationship with anyone and he jumped at the chance . They set him up and went out on a double date . Him not knowing any better , he started going out with her and finally asked her to marry him . Well they got married and came down to my moms house also where i lived . That dang woman came into my room and pulled her blouse up to show me her breast on their wedding night . We didn't think they ever was going to leave . I don't know where they went after that .
A couple weeks later that is when the abuse started . They bought a small moblehome and put it in a trailer park . He didn't know how to mannage his money and that became a problem . His father in law took over his checking account and things went ok for a while .
His wife was so ugly that it would make a dog puke . I can't help myself for saying that and shouldn't but if you knew her you would understand . She would make him take his shoes off outside no matter how hard it was raining . She would get mad at him and throw rock's at his car . Finally cracked the windshild . He would try to go in his house and when he would get up on the porch she would grab him by the hair and push him off the porch . Later own they had bought a bigger moble home with the help of his father in law . One day my uncle went by to see him and he came crawling out from under the trailer . She threw him out of house for getting the floor dirty . He had taken an old mattress and put it under the trailor and that is where he was sleeping .
He couldn't keep up the payments on the mobile home and lost it . They moved about fifty miles from me to where his father in law got them an apartment . They had a child . My mom worred herself to death over him .
That woman has had him locked up several accuseing him of assault on her . One time he called me to tell me he was out of gas . I got a can and went to where he was and took him to get some gas . He had gotten paid that day but he didn't have permission to cash his check from her . He had no money on him so i give him enough to get home . She would take all his money and only give him money to get to work on . He never had any money to get something to eat with and he was working his self to death . A couple years ago his legs give out on him and ended in the hospital . Today they live apart but side by side one another . She goes everwhere with him always riding in the back seat of his car . A year ago i had a 1988 Ford converson van and finally got a hold of him . Told him if he could get tag and insurance , i would give him the van . He come down and there she was in the back seat of his son's car . I give him the signed title . He didn't have any money to get the van home and asked me for twenty dollars . I knew he would never be able to pay me back so i give him the gas money . I don't know if he ever put the van on the road or not . I hardly ever get to see my brother . Its been a year now and i don't know if he is alive or not . I would help him if he could get away from that awful woman . You would have to know what he has been thru to really know how much abuse he's been thru .
It is sad what some people have to go thru in life . Women go thru so much abuse in life and so do men . My brother doesn't know how to deal with it so he lives with it .
I get so angry seeing women abused and what they go thru . The pain they endure and it scar's them for life . Thank God there ars shelter's for women to go for help . But how many get killed each day because of abuse . They don't talk about men getting abused and it is sad that life is that way .
Writen By Wayne
His Brother
Richard didn't have much learning when he was growing up because of an illness he had that put him in a coma for three weeks . Doctors said his mine lost several years and would have a hard time learning . When he started school the teacher's just passed him on each grade till he was old enough to quit school . They didn't have special classes back then . Richard was and is a hard working person . He used to help our parents a lot .
While he was at work one day someone told him of a nice girl he could meet . He never had a relationship with anyone and he jumped at the chance . They set him up and went out on a double date . Him not knowing any better , he started going out with her and finally asked her to marry him . Well they got married and came down to my moms house also where i lived . That dang woman came into my room and pulled her blouse up to show me her breast on their wedding night . We didn't think they ever was going to leave . I don't know where they went after that .
A couple weeks later that is when the abuse started . They bought a small moblehome and put it in a trailer park . He didn't know how to mannage his money and that became a problem . His father in law took over his checking account and things went ok for a while .
His wife was so ugly that it would make a dog puke . I can't help myself for saying that and shouldn't but if you knew her you would understand . She would make him take his shoes off outside no matter how hard it was raining . She would get mad at him and throw rock's at his car . Finally cracked the windshild . He would try to go in his house and when he would get up on the porch she would grab him by the hair and push him off the porch . Later own they had bought a bigger moble home with the help of his father in law . One day my uncle went by to see him and he came crawling out from under the trailer . She threw him out of house for getting the floor dirty . He had taken an old mattress and put it under the trailor and that is where he was sleeping .
He couldn't keep up the payments on the mobile home and lost it . They moved about fifty miles from me to where his father in law got them an apartment . They had a child . My mom worred herself to death over him .
That woman has had him locked up several accuseing him of assault on her . One time he called me to tell me he was out of gas . I got a can and went to where he was and took him to get some gas . He had gotten paid that day but he didn't have permission to cash his check from her . He had no money on him so i give him enough to get home . She would take all his money and only give him money to get to work on . He never had any money to get something to eat with and he was working his self to death . A couple years ago his legs give out on him and ended in the hospital . Today they live apart but side by side one another . She goes everwhere with him always riding in the back seat of his car . A year ago i had a 1988 Ford converson van and finally got a hold of him . Told him if he could get tag and insurance , i would give him the van . He come down and there she was in the back seat of his son's car . I give him the signed title . He didn't have any money to get the van home and asked me for twenty dollars . I knew he would never be able to pay me back so i give him the gas money . I don't know if he ever put the van on the road or not . I hardly ever get to see my brother . Its been a year now and i don't know if he is alive or not . I would help him if he could get away from that awful woman . You would have to know what he has been thru to really know how much abuse he's been thru .
It is sad what some people have to go thru in life . Women go thru so much abuse in life and so do men . My brother doesn't know how to deal with it so he lives with it .
I get so angry seeing women abused and what they go thru . The pain they endure and it scar's them for life . Thank God there ars shelter's for women to go for help . But how many get killed each day because of abuse . They don't talk about men getting abused and it is sad that life is that way .
Writen By Wayne
His Brother
Favorite Childhood Memories
A very nice lady posted in my group " What Was Your Favorite Childhood Memories " . So here is some of mind .
My memories of my past are so precious too me because i can't look to a future and those memories are dear to me . So it's one day at a time for me . I guess my favorite is.... We went to my grand parent's home on Christmas eve for a family get together . This was around 1955 . Dad said lets go see if Santa Clause has came yet . My brother and I were so much in a hurry to get home . We lived i an old clapboarded house with a rusted tin as the roof . No running water or bathroom . We got home and ran in and under the tree was this cowboy outfit with a best looking set of guns and gun belt . They were chrome looking . Dad strapped them around me and i felt like i was a cowboy and could take on the world . I felt proud , here was me in a cowboy outfit and a real cowboy . Santa was so real to me . My parents always made sure we had a good Christmas .
We would go out and look for a tree to put up . Out in the fields and edges of the wood would grow cedar tree's and we would cut one down . Drag it back home . Dad would cut the bottom off with a hand saw . We would take two boards and make a cross and nail it to bottom of tree so it would stand up . The light's we had back then were big and some had these bulb's when they got hot , they would boil and was so wonderful to look at .We would make our own popcorn strings to put on our little cedar tree . What ever else we could find , we would hang on tree . The strings of sparkle would twinkle as some of the lights blinked . To me and my brother back then were so filled with love from our parents . They would do without so we could have our special time's growing up .
Some people have told me that they wouldn't want to go back to those day's . That those days were to hard . As i look back , life was simple back then . We didn't have much but we were rich in being loved and hard times out parents had in raising us and the doing without to give us the things we needed meant more to my parents than money could buy . We were proud .
Written by Wayne
My memories of my past are so precious too me because i can't look to a future and those memories are dear to me . So it's one day at a time for me . I guess my favorite is.... We went to my grand parent's home on Christmas eve for a family get together . This was around 1955 . Dad said lets go see if Santa Clause has came yet . My brother and I were so much in a hurry to get home . We lived i an old clapboarded house with a rusted tin as the roof . No running water or bathroom . We got home and ran in and under the tree was this cowboy outfit with a best looking set of guns and gun belt . They were chrome looking . Dad strapped them around me and i felt like i was a cowboy and could take on the world . I felt proud , here was me in a cowboy outfit and a real cowboy . Santa was so real to me . My parents always made sure we had a good Christmas .
We would go out and look for a tree to put up . Out in the fields and edges of the wood would grow cedar tree's and we would cut one down . Drag it back home . Dad would cut the bottom off with a hand saw . We would take two boards and make a cross and nail it to bottom of tree so it would stand up . The light's we had back then were big and some had these bulb's when they got hot , they would boil and was so wonderful to look at .We would make our own popcorn strings to put on our little cedar tree . What ever else we could find , we would hang on tree . The strings of sparkle would twinkle as some of the lights blinked . To me and my brother back then were so filled with love from our parents . They would do without so we could have our special time's growing up .
Some people have told me that they wouldn't want to go back to those day's . That those days were to hard . As i look back , life was simple back then . We didn't have much but we were rich in being loved and hard times out parents had in raising us and the doing without to give us the things we needed meant more to my parents than money could buy . We were proud .
Written by Wayne
A Wonderful Person Named Crystin Sent This Too Me
Hi Wayne,
I remember my childhood memories, and yes, we lived in a one bathroom home, with small rooms, no air conditioning, one car in a two car homemade garage made with wood from my Uncle's farm, built by my Grandfather, Uncle & Dad, and sometimes had no Christmas presents, but it molded me anyway into a woman, who cares about the simple life and it is dear to me to have it. No I may not have all the money in the world, but I have a daughter, and my parents yet, who I hold dear to my heart and the people around me, who when I falter, give me a faith and love & say NEVER GIVE UP. In giving up, you lose your liberties and freedoms. My Uncle had a farm with a outhouse, and we used to go as kids to his farm, and that was the best fun I've ever had in life, until the birth of my daughter years ago. That nice clear ice cold well water, I grave even now. The basics in life are the best!!!!! Faith, family, America, and always important friends.
Everyone has a future, my friend. I've learned from my daughters friend along time ago that God gives you moments that you learn from and you should take those moments whether good or bad and hold them in your heart for you become wiser as life goes on. You just don't see it yet, but you will. Memories are nice, but make new ones.
You do have angels I've notice afew times in my life, who will never let you sink for long, for they are there in times of need and will inspire you, I remember one when my daughter was trying to become pregnant, for she had a horried time of it, and we meet two people in a store, who just made us feel good with laughter and they told her that even though things are rough, there will be a time when all will be well, and within 1 month from the day we saw them, she was told she was going to have a baby and his heartbeat was strong. Yes, they would have to watch her, but everything did go alright. And the strangest thing about this is that we only had one thing to go through the line, and we followed quickly out to see where they went and they like disappeared and we looked in afew parking spaces, but no husband & wife angels and the weird thing is - is that we have seen them before in our lives somewhere else. It was like God was there giving us two messengers.
Another time was when my daughter was at the doctor and she gave her some info that she needed a operation big time. Well, we both were in tears, and driving home, we had to break on a hill, for two doe and their babies came out of the woods. And the strangest thing that happened here was that one of the babies fell with legs spread out like Bambi right in front of my car. We laughed, and went straight away to the store to buy Bambi, the movie. The incident relaxed us and we went on with our lives.
I met a woman from the South, who was a manager in a apartment I was in at the time, and I just started writing in a big way and had my doubts, but she encouraged me to continue on, and not doubt myself, well I finished the writing part and now I'm in the typing on the computer part and finding errors or creating it better. She was a angel, that I will never forget, for 6 months later, she passed away. We were instant friends for that moment of time and she will never be forgotten. And the strangest thing about this was that afew weeks later after her death, a old high school buddy, began to write me, and then his wife, who I have been friends with ever since.
Miracles do happen everyday, angels come a knocking occasionally, and you, onetooth, has a future. Just think you are giving hope, just by being you, you have wisdom, and enough love to fill a ocean. Show that to everyone you see outside your home as well as on the internet. Everyone has a purpose whether they want a purpose or not.
Best wishes, Crystin
I remember my childhood memories, and yes, we lived in a one bathroom home, with small rooms, no air conditioning, one car in a two car homemade garage made with wood from my Uncle's farm, built by my Grandfather, Uncle & Dad, and sometimes had no Christmas presents, but it molded me anyway into a woman, who cares about the simple life and it is dear to me to have it. No I may not have all the money in the world, but I have a daughter, and my parents yet, who I hold dear to my heart and the people around me, who when I falter, give me a faith and love & say NEVER GIVE UP. In giving up, you lose your liberties and freedoms. My Uncle had a farm with a outhouse, and we used to go as kids to his farm, and that was the best fun I've ever had in life, until the birth of my daughter years ago. That nice clear ice cold well water, I grave even now. The basics in life are the best!!!!! Faith, family, America, and always important friends.
Everyone has a future, my friend. I've learned from my daughters friend along time ago that God gives you moments that you learn from and you should take those moments whether good or bad and hold them in your heart for you become wiser as life goes on. You just don't see it yet, but you will. Memories are nice, but make new ones.
You do have angels I've notice afew times in my life, who will never let you sink for long, for they are there in times of need and will inspire you, I remember one when my daughter was trying to become pregnant, for she had a horried time of it, and we meet two people in a store, who just made us feel good with laughter and they told her that even though things are rough, there will be a time when all will be well, and within 1 month from the day we saw them, she was told she was going to have a baby and his heartbeat was strong. Yes, they would have to watch her, but everything did go alright. And the strangest thing about this is that we only had one thing to go through the line, and we followed quickly out to see where they went and they like disappeared and we looked in afew parking spaces, but no husband & wife angels and the weird thing is - is that we have seen them before in our lives somewhere else. It was like God was there giving us two messengers.
Another time was when my daughter was at the doctor and she gave her some info that she needed a operation big time. Well, we both were in tears, and driving home, we had to break on a hill, for two doe and their babies came out of the woods. And the strangest thing that happened here was that one of the babies fell with legs spread out like Bambi right in front of my car. We laughed, and went straight away to the store to buy Bambi, the movie. The incident relaxed us and we went on with our lives.
I met a woman from the South, who was a manager in a apartment I was in at the time, and I just started writing in a big way and had my doubts, but she encouraged me to continue on, and not doubt myself, well I finished the writing part and now I'm in the typing on the computer part and finding errors or creating it better. She was a angel, that I will never forget, for 6 months later, she passed away. We were instant friends for that moment of time and she will never be forgotten. And the strangest thing about this was that afew weeks later after her death, a old high school buddy, began to write me, and then his wife, who I have been friends with ever since.
Miracles do happen everyday, angels come a knocking occasionally, and you, onetooth, has a future. Just think you are giving hope, just by being you, you have wisdom, and enough love to fill a ocean. Show that to everyone you see outside your home as well as on the internet. Everyone has a purpose whether they want a purpose or not.
Best wishes, Crystin
Doggie Dictionary Plus Jay Leno / Bad Date
If you didn't
see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have
all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went
into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman
ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and
quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside
Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met
before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of
nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which
she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of
his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't
have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady her self.
Her companion stood on the side of the car
watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from
peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the
rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she
soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up
her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against
the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately
came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It
was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of
the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so
long"
with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of
some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes,
he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when
they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her
dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they
also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something
hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one
way to get her free.
So, as she looked the
other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her
butt off the fender. As the
audience screamed in laughter, she took the
Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And
you thought your first date was embarrassing!
Jay Leno's comment... "This
gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.
Oh, and how
did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her
on the Leno show.
Found on another group , makes since .
LEASH A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human.
SNIFF A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.
GARBAGE CAN A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BICYCLES Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
THUNDER This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.
BATH If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
LEAN Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
BUMP The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular Bump doesn't get the attention your require....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
CHILDREN Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.
LOVE A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your stump. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have
all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went
into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman
ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and
quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside
Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met
before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of
nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which
she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of
his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't
have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady her self.
Her companion stood on the side of the car
watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from
peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the
rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she
soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up
her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against
the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately
came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It
was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of
the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so
long"
with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of
some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes,
he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when
they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her
dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they
also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something
hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one
way to get her free.
So, as she looked the
other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her
butt off the fender. As the
audience screamed in laughter, she took the
Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And
you thought your first date was embarrassing!
Jay Leno's comment... "This
gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.
Oh, and how
did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her
on the Leno show.
Found on another group , makes since .
LEASH A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human.
SNIFF A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.
GARBAGE CAN A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BICYCLES Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
THUNDER This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.
BATH If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
LEAN Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
BUMP The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular Bump doesn't get the attention your require....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
CHILDREN Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.
LOVE A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your stump. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
My Memories Of Thing's Around Me When Growing Up
My memories when i was growing up and what i learned about the past before i was born !
My grand parents bought a large piece of land back in the 40's . It had tree's all over it and Grandpa had to clear land for growing crops to sell to make enough money each year to carry them thru the winter . He cleared the land with an axe , two handed saw and two mules . Used the mule's to pull log's and stump's out of ground . It took a lot of painful work to clear around 30 acre's .
He planted cotton mostly and all the thing the needed to can and carry them thru the winter till spring time . Raised Hog's for meat . They would kill a hog and salt cure the meat and hang it out in the smoke house . Had their own milk cow and would sell milk and egg's from the chicken's they raised . They grew corn and had corn shuckin's . Some went to feed , some he took to flower mill and have ground into cornmeal and flour .
They would plant sugar cane the harvest it , take it to a horse drown press and cook the juice to make molasses .
The land they bought had a large house on it and a large basement . No running water back then . They had to carry water from a spring flowing from under a big bolder . Grandma give birth to 4 girl's and 3 brother's . That help a lot in the chore's that had to be done . The last girl that was born was almost the same age i was . I was born June 1950 she was born August 1950 .
I'm not sure where my parents lived when i was born . When i was 3 or 4 years old . We were living in the basement of grandparents home . Bye that time they were diggin a well by hand . They had this roof built over the top of the well where they would draw water up with a rope and pulley . Every once in a while you would bring a frog up with the water . Just throw it out and go on . Had a dipper made from a gourd hanging there and dip some cold water from the wooden bucket they used .
Grandma had awood burning cook stove , She would go out where the pine trees grew and look for an old pine stump that had rooted away . The core of that stump was very rich pine . She would chop off large pieces and use it by split into tiny strips and take a match to start her fire with . The stove has a place to keep water in so they could use the hot water to take bath's with . No bathrooms back then . Mom and Dad moved in the basement of their home for a while . In 1955 we moved to a brick yard that supplied a house of my family to live in while Dad worked there . Think they started him off with 95 cent's an hour . We lived at the brickyard till 1959 .
In 1957 or around that time , we were siting outside on the porch and in the distance we saw across the river , a glow was in the sky . Mom said it looked like it was near my grandparents home . We all god in the car and drove over that way . When dad turned in to the road cut thru the wood's , we saw it was their home on fire . It burned to the ground . They moved into a place near by . Grandpa got lumber from the sawmill (No treated lumber back then) With help from friend and neighbors he built a new home 3 bed rooms large kitchen and living room and it even had a bathroom in it .
In 1959 , Grandpa give mom a piece of land and help dad buy a very small mobile home . It was 8 foot wide and 37 foot long . September 1959 we moved in We lived in that cramped trailor till 1970 . I bought a 12X60 foot mobile home that had our first bathroom in it . That first shower i took was such a pleasure . I got real squeekie clean for the first time i can remember .
1959 was when i started exploring the land around us . One of our neighbor's was where my great aunt lived . My brother , my aunt and i would go and check out her trash pile . (Today they would call that dumster diving) We sure found a lot of good stuff that she thru away . We would go out in the big woods and sit and watch the critter's that were all around us . Go down to the creek and wade in the cool water was such a pleasure . We couldn't swim so no skinny dipping went on . There were hills to clime filled with larel bushes that would bloom in the summer , Holly bushes and trees with lots of red berries . Some even had yellow berries . Out in the field's you could see cotton growing that had row's so long you couldn't see the other end . On one side of their land were a large forest of tree's . That is when i found out there was a pond filled with foot lond bream and bluegill . We would sneak down to that pond and use cane poll's to catch fish for supper . Fill a bucket up in no time . Some times the owner would here us . He would yell at us and if we didn't leave he would shoot his shotgun in the air and pellet's would fall all around us . That was the time to leave . He didn't like us because he clamed we stole his watermellon's . Oh those were the day's .
Written By Wayne
My grand parents bought a large piece of land back in the 40's . It had tree's all over it and Grandpa had to clear land for growing crops to sell to make enough money each year to carry them thru the winter . He cleared the land with an axe , two handed saw and two mules . Used the mule's to pull log's and stump's out of ground . It took a lot of painful work to clear around 30 acre's .
He planted cotton mostly and all the thing the needed to can and carry them thru the winter till spring time . Raised Hog's for meat . They would kill a hog and salt cure the meat and hang it out in the smoke house . Had their own milk cow and would sell milk and egg's from the chicken's they raised . They grew corn and had corn shuckin's . Some went to feed , some he took to flower mill and have ground into cornmeal and flour .
They would plant sugar cane the harvest it , take it to a horse drown press and cook the juice to make molasses .
The land they bought had a large house on it and a large basement . No running water back then . They had to carry water from a spring flowing from under a big bolder . Grandma give birth to 4 girl's and 3 brother's . That help a lot in the chore's that had to be done . The last girl that was born was almost the same age i was . I was born June 1950 she was born August 1950 .
I'm not sure where my parents lived when i was born . When i was 3 or 4 years old . We were living in the basement of grandparents home . Bye that time they were diggin a well by hand . They had this roof built over the top of the well where they would draw water up with a rope and pulley . Every once in a while you would bring a frog up with the water . Just throw it out and go on . Had a dipper made from a gourd hanging there and dip some cold water from the wooden bucket they used .
Grandma had awood burning cook stove , She would go out where the pine trees grew and look for an old pine stump that had rooted away . The core of that stump was very rich pine . She would chop off large pieces and use it by split into tiny strips and take a match to start her fire with . The stove has a place to keep water in so they could use the hot water to take bath's with . No bathrooms back then . Mom and Dad moved in the basement of their home for a while . In 1955 we moved to a brick yard that supplied a house of my family to live in while Dad worked there . Think they started him off with 95 cent's an hour . We lived at the brickyard till 1959 .
In 1957 or around that time , we were siting outside on the porch and in the distance we saw across the river , a glow was in the sky . Mom said it looked like it was near my grandparents home . We all god in the car and drove over that way . When dad turned in to the road cut thru the wood's , we saw it was their home on fire . It burned to the ground . They moved into a place near by . Grandpa got lumber from the sawmill (No treated lumber back then) With help from friend and neighbors he built a new home 3 bed rooms large kitchen and living room and it even had a bathroom in it .
In 1959 , Grandpa give mom a piece of land and help dad buy a very small mobile home . It was 8 foot wide and 37 foot long . September 1959 we moved in We lived in that cramped trailor till 1970 . I bought a 12X60 foot mobile home that had our first bathroom in it . That first shower i took was such a pleasure . I got real squeekie clean for the first time i can remember .
1959 was when i started exploring the land around us . One of our neighbor's was where my great aunt lived . My brother , my aunt and i would go and check out her trash pile . (Today they would call that dumster diving) We sure found a lot of good stuff that she thru away . We would go out in the big woods and sit and watch the critter's that were all around us . Go down to the creek and wade in the cool water was such a pleasure . We couldn't swim so no skinny dipping went on . There were hills to clime filled with larel bushes that would bloom in the summer , Holly bushes and trees with lots of red berries . Some even had yellow berries . Out in the field's you could see cotton growing that had row's so long you couldn't see the other end . On one side of their land were a large forest of tree's . That is when i found out there was a pond filled with foot lond bream and bluegill . We would sneak down to that pond and use cane poll's to catch fish for supper . Fill a bucket up in no time . Some times the owner would here us . He would yell at us and if we didn't leave he would shoot his shotgun in the air and pellet's would fall all around us . That was the time to leave . He didn't like us because he clamed we stole his watermellon's . Oh those were the day's .
Written By Wayne
Was Sent Too Me / Chili Cookoff
note: For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major
portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.
CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!!
Note from Frank: "Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfield,
IL) I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The
original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be
standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors
Light beer booth, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that even though I was inexperienced as a Chili
taster, the chili wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides, they told me, I
could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3 ."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels> like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me
more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone
is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the
beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to
look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an
aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it
will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with
a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At
least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to
stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen
anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my
stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot
chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
They actually have a Chili Cook-off around Halloween. It takes up a major
portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.
CHILI, TEXAS STYLE !!!
Note from Frank: "Recently, while visiting Texas (I'm from Springfield,
IL) I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The
original judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be
standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors
Light beer booth, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that even though I was inexperienced as a Chili
taster, the chili wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides, they told me, I
could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3 ."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels> like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me
more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone
is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the
beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to
look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an
aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it
will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with
a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about judge number 3. He appears to be a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my
shirt. At
least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to
stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen
anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my
stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot
chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
My Dream's And A Few Memories Too Share
My dreams , my memories of my past are the best thing's in life i can share . I have done thing's in life growing up that i am not proud of and would have made a better decision if i had the chance to do over . I don't consider myself having a future in life because i live one day at a time . The Lord provides every thing i really need in life . If i die the next breath then i have done as good as i could , I feel peace in myself .
I can remember when my Grandpa said he would pay me for cleaning out the cow stable . I jumped at the chance . He said he would pay me when i got done . So i get up one cool morning and went to the barn with my pitch fork . The barn had two stables and i chose one . I go into the stable and barely had head room to stand up in . So here i go , put my foot one the pitch fork and pushed it in and started pitching the manure out the window . After a little while the steam began rising from the stall . You know that stuff was three feet thick . It took me three day's to get all of it out . When i was done i went up to the house and there sit Grandpa . I told him i had finished . He dug into his pocket and brought out some bills . He handed me three dollars and thanked me . Here i was standing before him and it took me three days to clean that stall out and all i got was three dollars . I didn't know whether to cry or laugh . I just thanked him and went home .
My Grandma took me to the barn with her one morning telling me i needed to learn how to milk a cow . She brought Susie out of the stable and tied her close to the post . She also tied a brick she had to the tail of that cow . That dang cow still could swing that brick back and forth . I got down on a short stool and put the ten quart galvanized bucket under Susie . I grabbed one of her tit's and started to squeeze . Nothing , I kept working at it and finally got some milk out still having trouble hitting the bucket . Susie kept trying to put her foot in that bucket also . After about thirty minutes or so i finally got the hang of it . That is how i learn how to milk a cow .
Grand ma would put the milk in ice box and each morning she would skim the cream off the top of the milk . When she got enough , she would get her butter churn out and let me churn the cream till it made the butter . It sure did make your arm sore pushing that handle in and out . When done Grandma would pour the contents and wash the butter off with clod water . She had a butter printer that she would pack the butter in and when she would push the butter out it had a pretty design on top . She would sell some of the butter , milk and eggs . Those eggs were really big eggs . They came from big hens . You can't buy egg's like that today .
One time it snowed one night and my uncle come by and asked if i wanted to see if we could track anything in the snow . Well we set out and saw rabbit prints in the snow but never did see and rabbit's . We had gone a long way and came upon a place we called Laurel Hill . It had Laurel bushes all over the hill and Holly trees with thick red and yellow berries . At the bottom of that hill was a small creek . We were following the creek and saw a screech owl under the bank . We tried to catch the dang owl and that thing flew out and just missed my uncle's ear . I finally saw a large Robin up in a tree and shot it . My uncle said grandma would eat Robin if we took it to her . So we did . Uncle went home and i stayed there . Grandma cleaned that Robin and boiled it then fried it . She sit there and eat that robin . You know that was the last bird i ever killed . I can't see any reason killing God's creature's this day and time . Unless it is to feed the hungry . Now i'm not talking about our cattle . I got to have a burger once in a while .
Written by Wayne
I can remember when my Grandpa said he would pay me for cleaning out the cow stable . I jumped at the chance . He said he would pay me when i got done . So i get up one cool morning and went to the barn with my pitch fork . The barn had two stables and i chose one . I go into the stable and barely had head room to stand up in . So here i go , put my foot one the pitch fork and pushed it in and started pitching the manure out the window . After a little while the steam began rising from the stall . You know that stuff was three feet thick . It took me three day's to get all of it out . When i was done i went up to the house and there sit Grandpa . I told him i had finished . He dug into his pocket and brought out some bills . He handed me three dollars and thanked me . Here i was standing before him and it took me three days to clean that stall out and all i got was three dollars . I didn't know whether to cry or laugh . I just thanked him and went home .
My Grandma took me to the barn with her one morning telling me i needed to learn how to milk a cow . She brought Susie out of the stable and tied her close to the post . She also tied a brick she had to the tail of that cow . That dang cow still could swing that brick back and forth . I got down on a short stool and put the ten quart galvanized bucket under Susie . I grabbed one of her tit's and started to squeeze . Nothing , I kept working at it and finally got some milk out still having trouble hitting the bucket . Susie kept trying to put her foot in that bucket also . After about thirty minutes or so i finally got the hang of it . That is how i learn how to milk a cow .
Grand ma would put the milk in ice box and each morning she would skim the cream off the top of the milk . When she got enough , she would get her butter churn out and let me churn the cream till it made the butter . It sure did make your arm sore pushing that handle in and out . When done Grandma would pour the contents and wash the butter off with clod water . She had a butter printer that she would pack the butter in and when she would push the butter out it had a pretty design on top . She would sell some of the butter , milk and eggs . Those eggs were really big eggs . They came from big hens . You can't buy egg's like that today .
One time it snowed one night and my uncle come by and asked if i wanted to see if we could track anything in the snow . Well we set out and saw rabbit prints in the snow but never did see and rabbit's . We had gone a long way and came upon a place we called Laurel Hill . It had Laurel bushes all over the hill and Holly trees with thick red and yellow berries . At the bottom of that hill was a small creek . We were following the creek and saw a screech owl under the bank . We tried to catch the dang owl and that thing flew out and just missed my uncle's ear . I finally saw a large Robin up in a tree and shot it . My uncle said grandma would eat Robin if we took it to her . So we did . Uncle went home and i stayed there . Grandma cleaned that Robin and boiled it then fried it . She sit there and eat that robin . You know that was the last bird i ever killed . I can't see any reason killing God's creature's this day and time . Unless it is to feed the hungry . Now i'm not talking about our cattle . I got to have a burger once in a while .
Written by Wayne
I bought My Wife A Taser / Auther Unknown
Found this and thought someone may get a laugh out of it .
My wife is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Lifetime movie in the near future.
Here goes...
Last weekend I spied something at the pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled.) I bought something really cool for my wife. The occasion was our 30th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser gun with a clip.
For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out -- way too cool!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found, much to my chagrin, that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!
Yipeeeeee!
I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot on the face of her microwave is.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping the dog for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. He is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that?? It seemed reasonable to me at the time...
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water... All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No friggin' way!"
Friggin' way --- trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, the dog looking on with his head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it buddy." Reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree???) I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it... (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight --- always 20-20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya just hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY*********! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!
I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, other parts of my body nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "Do it again, do it again!"
(NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep into your thigh like yours truly...)
LORDY ALMIGHTY that hurt!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My glasses were on the TV across the room. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my missing body parts? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. I’m offering an award, I’d really like to have them back.
Never Touchin' the Taser Again!
My wife is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Lifetime movie in the near future.
Here goes...
Last weekend I spied something at the pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled.) I bought something really cool for my wife. The occasion was our 30th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser gun with a clip.
For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out -- way too cool!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found, much to my chagrin, that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!
Yipeeeeee!
I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot on the face of her microwave is.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping the dog for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. He is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that?? It seemed reasonable to me at the time...
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water... All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No friggin' way!"
Friggin' way --- trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, the dog looking on with his head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it buddy." Reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree???) I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it... (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight --- always 20-20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya just hate that?)
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY*********! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!
I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, other parts of my body nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "Do it again, do it again!"
(NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep into your thigh like yours truly...)
LORDY ALMIGHTY that hurt!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My glasses were on the TV across the room. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my missing body parts? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. I’m offering an award, I’d really like to have them back.
Never Touchin' the Taser Again!
My Thanks Giving 2007 / Looking Back
A couple months ago i felt this was going to be so lonely for me with out anyone around . I sure was wrong . I got so many pm's and email's from so many friends from my groups and from other's all over eon's . I even got to see two dear friends i have gotten to know and learn from . I had gotten up and sit down at my computer and i got a video call on my computer . I answered my call and there in front of me were my friends wishing me a Happy Thanks Giving . I could see her and her husband and such a beautiful home all around them . That really made my day . Then last night i got to talk to another friend that lives in Fla . She was a little wired up from eating so much and she was trying to help make a banner for my profile page . We finally put our two minds together and we learned there is more ways to skin a cat . (southern term) . The banner turned out great .
Mainly what i wanted to say was to thank all of you for all the warm wishes i got and i will never forget . Thank you , Wayne
Since i have joined EON"S . I have learned many things . I learned to post , put color in my post's . I have learned how to make my profile look and feel how i feel inside . I have come too know many many people on my groups and the ones i have been part of . Eon's has so many fun loving and careing people in all walks of life . I have learned that many have health problems , some live in pain yet make an effort to be part of eon's . I guess you could sit and think about any illness and there would be hundreds with that illness looking for help and reaching out for relief . The care givers that take care of their love one's . The groups for the one's that have lost a loved one and the support from those groups are so special .
Thank you Eon's for being there when we need to reach out to all and in return we gain so much
Written by
Wayne
Mainly what i wanted to say was to thank all of you for all the warm wishes i got and i will never forget . Thank you , Wayne
Since i have joined EON"S . I have learned many things . I learned to post , put color in my post's . I have learned how to make my profile look and feel how i feel inside . I have come too know many many people on my groups and the ones i have been part of . Eon's has so many fun loving and careing people in all walks of life . I have learned that many have health problems , some live in pain yet make an effort to be part of eon's . I guess you could sit and think about any illness and there would be hundreds with that illness looking for help and reaching out for relief . The care givers that take care of their love one's . The groups for the one's that have lost a loved one and the support from those groups are so special .
Thank you Eon's for being there when we need to reach out to all and in return we gain so much
Written by
Wayne
Wonderful Christmas Story
The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn't been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. He had no decorations, no tree, no lights. It was just another day to him. He didn't hate Christmas, just couldn't find a reason to celebrate. There were no children in his life. His wife had gone.
He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of throwing the man out, George, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the space heater and warm up.
"Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger. "I see you're busy. I'll just go"
"Not without something hot in your belly," George turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. "It ain't much, but it's hot and tasty. Stew. Made it myself. When you're done there's coffee and it's fresh."
Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse me, be right back," George said.
There in the driveway was an old 53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front. The driver was panicked. "Mister can you help me!" said the driver with a deep Spanish accent. "My wife is with child and my car is broken."
George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked from the cold; the car was dead. "You ain't going in this thing," George said as he turned away.
"But mister. Please help...."The door of the office closed behind George as he went in. George went to the office wall and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside. He walked around the building and opened the garage, started the truck and drove it around to where the couple was waiting.
"Here, you can borrow my truck," he said. "She ain't the best thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good." George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it sped off into the night. George turned and walked back inside the office.
"Glad I loaned em the truck. Their tires were shot too. That 'ol truck has brand new tires........" George thought he was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone. The thermos was on the desk, empty with a used coffee cup beside it.
"Well, at least he got something in his belly," George thought. George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked slowly, but it started. He pulled it into the garage where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it for something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers. He discovered the block hadn't cracked, it was just the bottom hose on the radiator.
"Well, I can fix this," he said to himself. So he put a new one on. "Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter either." He took the snow treads off of his wife's old Lincoln. They were like new and he wasn't going to drive the car.
As he was working he heard a shot being fired. He ran outside and beside a police car an officer lay on the cold ground. Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, "Help me." George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training he had received in the Army as a medic. He knew the wound needed attention.
"Pressure to stop the bleeding," he thought. The laundry company had been there that morning and had left clean shop towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound. "Hey, they say duct tape can fix anything'," he said, trying to make the policeman feel at ease. "Something for pain," George thought. All he had was the pills he used for his back. "These ought to work." He put some water in a cup and gave the policeman the pills.
"You hang in there. I'm going to get you an ambulance." George said, but the phone was dead. "Maybe I can get one of your buddies on that there talk box out in your police car." He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the dashboard destroying the two way radio. He went back in to find the policeman sitting up.
"Thanks," said the officer. "You could have left me there. The guy that shot me is still in the area." George sat down beside him. "I would never leave an injured man in the Army and I ain't gonna leave you." George pulled back the bandage to check for bleeding. "Looks worse than what it is. Bullet passed right through 'ya. Good thing it missed the important stuff though. I think with time your gonna be right as rain."
George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How do you take it?" he asked.
"None for me," said the officer.
"Oh, yer gonna drink this. Best in the city." Then George added: "Too bad I ain't got no donuts."
The officer laughed and winced at the same time. The front door of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun.
"Give me all your cash! Do it now!" the young man yelled. His hand was shaking and George could tell that he had never done anything like this before.
"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.
"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George. "You need to put the cannon away. Somebody else might get hurt."
The young man was confused. "Shut up old man, or I'll shoot you, too. Now give me the cash!" The cop was reaching for his gun. "Put that thing away," George said to the cop. "We got one too many in here now."
He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas Eve. If you need the money, well then, here. It ain't much but it's all I got. Now put that pee shooter away."
George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and began to cry.
"I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy something for my wife and son," he went on. "I've lost my job. My rent is due. My car got repossessed last week..."
George handed the gun to the cop. "Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze now and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best we can."
He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across from the cop. "Sometimes we do stupid things." George handed the young man a cup of coffee. "Being stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Coming' in here with a gun ain't the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we'll sort this thing out."
The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop. "Sorry I shot you. It just went off. I'm sorry officer."
"Shut up and drink your coffee." the cop said.
George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the door, guns drawn. "Chuck! You ok?" one of the cops asked the wounded officer. "Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?"
"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who did this?" the other cop asked as he approached the young man.
Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the dark. Just dropped his gun and ran."
George and the young man both looked puzzled at each ot her. "That guy works here," the wounded cop continued.
"Yep," George said. "Just hired him this morning. Boy lost his job."
The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young man leaned over the wounded cop and whispered, "Why?" Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas, boy. And you too, George, and thanks for everything."
"Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there. That ought to solve some of your problems." George went into the back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box. "Here you go. Something for the little woman. I don't think Martha would mind. She said it would come in handy some day."
The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he ever saw. "I can't take this," said the young man. "It means something to you."
"And now it means something to you," replied George. "I got my memories. That's all I need."
George reached into the box again. A toy airplane, a racing car and a little metal truck appeared next. They were toys that the oil company had left for him to sell. "Here's something for that little man of yours."
The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150 that the old man had handed him earlier. "And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that, too. Count it as part of your first week's pay." George said. "Now git home to your family."
The young man turned with tears streaming down his face. "I'll be here in the morning for work, if that job offer is still good."
"Nope. I'm closed Christmas day," George said. "See ya the day after."
George turned around to find that the stranger had returned. "Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"
"I have been here. I have always been here," said the stranger. "You say you don't celebrate Christmas. Why?"
"Well, after my wife passed away I just couldn't see what all the bother was. Puttin' up a tree and all seemed a waste of a good pine tree. Bakin' cookies like I used to with Martha just wasn't the same by myself and besides I was getting a little chubby."
The stranger put his hand on George's shoulder. "But you do celebrate the holiday, George. You gave me food and drink and warmed me when I was cold and hungry. The woman with child will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.
The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed by terrorists. The young man who tried to rob you will become a rich man and share his wealth with many people.
That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any man."
George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. "And how do you know all this?" asked the old man.
"Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And when your days are done you will be with Martha again." The stranger moved toward the door.
"If you will excuse me, George, I have to go now. I have to go home where there is a big celebration planned."
George watched as the man's old leather jacket and his torn pants turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill the room.
"You see, George,
it's My birthday."
MERRY CHRISTMAS
George fell to his knees and replied,
"Happy Birthday Lord."
Author Unknown to me
He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of throwing the man out, George, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the space heater and warm up.
"Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger. "I see you're busy. I'll just go"
"Not without something hot in your belly," George turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. "It ain't much, but it's hot and tasty. Stew. Made it myself. When you're done there's coffee and it's fresh."
Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse me, be right back," George said.
There in the driveway was an old 53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front. The driver was panicked. "Mister can you help me!" said the driver with a deep Spanish accent. "My wife is with child and my car is broken."
George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked from the cold; the car was dead. "You ain't going in this thing," George said as he turned away.
"But mister. Please help...."The door of the office closed behind George as he went in. George went to the office wall and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside. He walked around the building and opened the garage, started the truck and drove it around to where the couple was waiting.
"Here, you can borrow my truck," he said. "She ain't the best thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good." George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it sped off into the night. George turned and walked back inside the office.
"Glad I loaned em the truck. Their tires were shot too. That 'ol truck has brand new tires........" George thought he was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone. The thermos was on the desk, empty with a used coffee cup beside it.
"Well, at least he got something in his belly," George thought. George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked slowly, but it started. He pulled it into the garage where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it for something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers. He discovered the block hadn't cracked, it was just the bottom hose on the radiator.
"Well, I can fix this," he said to himself. So he put a new one on. "Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter either." He took the snow treads off of his wife's old Lincoln. They were like new and he wasn't going to drive the car.
As he was working he heard a shot being fired. He ran outside and beside a police car an officer lay on the cold ground. Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, "Help me." George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training he had received in the Army as a medic. He knew the wound needed attention.
"Pressure to stop the bleeding," he thought. The laundry company had been there that morning and had left clean shop towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound. "Hey, they say duct tape can fix anything'," he said, trying to make the policeman feel at ease. "Something for pain," George thought. All he had was the pills he used for his back. "These ought to work." He put some water in a cup and gave the policeman the pills.
"You hang in there. I'm going to get you an ambulance." George said, but the phone was dead. "Maybe I can get one of your buddies on that there talk box out in your police car." He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the dashboard destroying the two way radio. He went back in to find the policeman sitting up.
"Thanks," said the officer. "You could have left me there. The guy that shot me is still in the area." George sat down beside him. "I would never leave an injured man in the Army and I ain't gonna leave you." George pulled back the bandage to check for bleeding. "Looks worse than what it is. Bullet passed right through 'ya. Good thing it missed the important stuff though. I think with time your gonna be right as rain."
George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How do you take it?" he asked.
"None for me," said the officer.
"Oh, yer gonna drink this. Best in the city." Then George added: "Too bad I ain't got no donuts."
The officer laughed and winced at the same time. The front door of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun.
"Give me all your cash! Do it now!" the young man yelled. His hand was shaking and George could tell that he had never done anything like this before.
"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.
"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George. "You need to put the cannon away. Somebody else might get hurt."
The young man was confused. "Shut up old man, or I'll shoot you, too. Now give me the cash!" The cop was reaching for his gun. "Put that thing away," George said to the cop. "We got one too many in here now."
He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas Eve. If you need the money, well then, here. It ain't much but it's all I got. Now put that pee shooter away."
George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and began to cry.
"I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy something for my wife and son," he went on. "I've lost my job. My rent is due. My car got repossessed last week..."
George handed the gun to the cop. "Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze now and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best we can."
He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across from the cop. "Sometimes we do stupid things." George handed the young man a cup of coffee. "Being stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Coming' in here with a gun ain't the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we'll sort this thing out."
The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop. "Sorry I shot you. It just went off. I'm sorry officer."
"Shut up and drink your coffee." the cop said.
George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the door, guns drawn. "Chuck! You ok?" one of the cops asked the wounded officer. "Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?"
"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who did this?" the other cop asked as he approached the young man.
Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the dark. Just dropped his gun and ran."
George and the young man both looked puzzled at each ot her. "That guy works here," the wounded cop continued.
"Yep," George said. "Just hired him this morning. Boy lost his job."
The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young man leaned over the wounded cop and whispered, "Why?" Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas, boy. And you too, George, and thanks for everything."
"Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there. That ought to solve some of your problems." George went into the back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box. "Here you go. Something for the little woman. I don't think Martha would mind. She said it would come in handy some day."
The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he ever saw. "I can't take this," said the young man. "It means something to you."
"And now it means something to you," replied George. "I got my memories. That's all I need."
George reached into the box again. A toy airplane, a racing car and a little metal truck appeared next. They were toys that the oil company had left for him to sell. "Here's something for that little man of yours."
The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150 that the old man had handed him earlier. "And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that, too. Count it as part of your first week's pay." George said. "Now git home to your family."
The young man turned with tears streaming down his face. "I'll be here in the morning for work, if that job offer is still good."
"Nope. I'm closed Christmas day," George said. "See ya the day after."
George turned around to find that the stranger had returned. "Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"
"I have been here. I have always been here," said the stranger. "You say you don't celebrate Christmas. Why?"
"Well, after my wife passed away I just couldn't see what all the bother was. Puttin' up a tree and all seemed a waste of a good pine tree. Bakin' cookies like I used to with Martha just wasn't the same by myself and besides I was getting a little chubby."
The stranger put his hand on George's shoulder. "But you do celebrate the holiday, George. You gave me food and drink and warmed me when I was cold and hungry. The woman with child will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.
The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed by terrorists. The young man who tried to rob you will become a rich man and share his wealth with many people.
That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any man."
George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. "And how do you know all this?" asked the old man.
"Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And when your days are done you will be with Martha again." The stranger moved toward the door.
"If you will excuse me, George, I have to go now. I have to go home where there is a big celebration planned."
George watched as the man's old leather jacket and his torn pants turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill the room.
"You see, George,
it's My birthday."
MERRY CHRISTMAS
George fell to his knees and replied,
"Happy Birthday Lord."
Author Unknown to me
My Special Christmas
For last ten years i haven't had much a reason to put up a tree or any decorations . Oh i love the Christmas season and i have even bought a tree for my daughter to put up for my grandkids in the past . I never have company to come by to say hello and i guess i have been a loner for most of my life . Because of my weight i always stayed away from partys but mostly staying away from people in general . Just never felt i was good enough for them . That has been the way it was for so many of years of my life . Now don't feel sorry for me because much i have written was because of my attitude about life and the people i was around , especially my own kin.
This year has become so special too me . My friends i have gotten to know and all the nice comments and card's i have gotten has helped learn so much about how i have changed my outlook on life .
This past week i received a package by UPS . I knew i hadn't ordered any thing and was wondering why it was left by my door . The package i received had a package slip on it and it said there was a card inside . The card and what it said inside it caused tears to flow down my face . I was from a dear friend i have gotten to know and her husband plus their little dog . (I won't post her name but is a member of Eon's) . The beautiful card said .
Dear Wayne
Wishing you a Merry Christmas
and a Very Happy New Year .
Even tho we are miles apart
we hold you close in our hearts.
With Love
That is what touched my heart so much . What was in he box amazed me . It was a live Christmas tree all decorated and was ready to plug in . This picture below is my beautiful little tree .
Yes there is a Santa Clause and it has made My Christmas so special for me .
Two days later i received another gift by UPS . It was from another dear friend that i admire so much for her courage of what she has been through in life And she has a heart of gold . It was an electric warming blanket that i can use to keep my legs warm on the coldest days .
I am so proud of my friends on EON'S . I restores my Faith in God and Good things do happen in life .
This year has become so special too me . My friends i have gotten to know and all the nice comments and card's i have gotten has helped learn so much about how i have changed my outlook on life .
This past week i received a package by UPS . I knew i hadn't ordered any thing and was wondering why it was left by my door . The package i received had a package slip on it and it said there was a card inside . The card and what it said inside it caused tears to flow down my face . I was from a dear friend i have gotten to know and her husband plus their little dog . (I won't post her name but is a member of Eon's) . The beautiful card said .
Dear Wayne
Wishing you a Merry Christmas
and a Very Happy New Year .
Even tho we are miles apart
we hold you close in our hearts.
With Love
That is what touched my heart so much . What was in he box amazed me . It was a live Christmas tree all decorated and was ready to plug in . This picture below is my beautiful little tree .
Yes there is a Santa Clause and it has made My Christmas so special for me .
Two days later i received another gift by UPS . It was from another dear friend that i admire so much for her courage of what she has been through in life And she has a heart of gold . It was an electric warming blanket that i can use to keep my legs warm on the coldest days .
I am so proud of my friends on EON'S . I restores my Faith in God and Good things do happen in life .
A Letter From Jesus
This is a post from another group .
Dear Children ,
It has come to my attention that many you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. Although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.
How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.
Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.
If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:
1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.
2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.
3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.
4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.
5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.
6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.
7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families
8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.
9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.
10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.
Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :
I LOVE YOU, JESUS
Birthday In Heaven
Written By Kim Smith
I heard you crying yesterday
And felt your heart-sent love
So i'm sending you this message
Now , from Heaven above .
You're wondering if I'll celebrate
My birthday ( way up here )
I know you're missing me today
I feel your essence near .
God planed a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He'd ordered me a special cake
( It's Angel food , I think )
I'm getting lot's of hugs from God
He's really good at that
And every time that i walk by
He gives my head a pat
Ballon's will fill the street's for me
They float up through the clowd's up here
That make's us laugh out lowd
There is a birthday carousel
Jeweled horses ride the wind
With music playing oh so sweet
The magic never end's
I've made so many friend's , you see
We laugh and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel's wing's
We'll have our cake and ice cream
And open gift's , surprise !
But we don't blow out our candles here
Instead , They light the sky's
I heard you crying yesterday
And felt your heart-sent love
So i'm sending you this message
Now , from Heaven above .
You're wondering if I'll celebrate
My birthday ( way up here )
I know you're missing me today
I feel your essence near .
God planed a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He'd ordered me a special cake
( It's Angel food , I think )
I'm getting lot's of hugs from God
He's really good at that
And every time that i walk by
He gives my head a pat
Ballon's will fill the street's for me
They float up through the clowd's up here
That make's us laugh out lowd
There is a birthday carousel
Jeweled horses ride the wind
With music playing oh so sweet
The magic never end's
I've made so many friend's , you see
We laugh and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel's wing's
We'll have our cake and ice cream
And open gift's , surprise !
But we don't blow out our candles here
Instead , They light the sky's
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